1. |
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Maybe one day I'll give this all up
I know I was never good enough
So I've been drinking to repress these memories
Because I'm not who I'm supposed to be
I used to think I was the smartest kid I knew
But that couldn't be any less true
And I took my time, I hurried up
But it still just wasn't good enough
And all I ever wanted was to hear someone say
"Hey, is it cool if I sit with you?"
And when you spend most your time wanting to die
You almost forget how to be alive
But the truth is, I've lived for long enough
I think I've lived for long enough
Maybe it's just too late to change
Because I've picked the path of self destruction
In this shitty, shitty game
So I guess I'll always be the same
'Cause I can't help but to hate
Every fucking thing that I see
Like god and his disciples
Or Capitalism and the right wing
So I think it's fair to say
All of our lives are meaningless
And I think it's fair to say
That I've seen quite enough
And when you spend most your time wanting to die
You almost forget how to be alive
But the truth is, I've lived for long enough
I think I've lived for long enough
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2. |
Waste of Time
03:27
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I don't know what to say
I just want to make this goddamn pain go away
I know that you could never really love me
'Cause everyone else really hates me
So I'll just drink and smoke my life away
And I'll slur some more shitty poetry
And as the words leave my lips
I'm just so fucking lazy and I don't give a shit
You're only wasting your time
Because I'm only a waste
Because I'm just a waste of time
Because I'm just a waste of space
Because I'm just a waste of skin
I'm only a waste
And I won't believe in a god
Who won't believe in me
And I'm afraid of mirrors
Because I hate what I see
So I traded in my motivation
For this desperation
'Cause I'm nothing but a slave
To liberation
And I like to hurt
Won't you please hurt me?
Because I'm just a waste of time
Because I'm just a waste of space
Because I'm just a waste of skin
I'm only a waste
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3. |
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I'm chewing on my fingernails and I don't care if they bleed
Because it seems to me that I am losing my fucking mind
And I keep smoking crack but there's still this meaning that I lack
And I keep shooting smack but you're still never coming back
I talk so much shit it's no wonder I smell like it too
It's amazing that anyone who's ever near me can even breathe
I litter this town with my hopeless hymns and my empty bank account
And my awful poetry screamed out over 3 chords
And those few special moments when I wasn't so completely bored
I stand before you an awful mess, pissing out my window and smoking cigarettes
And when I try to go to bed, I'm kept awake by the voices in my head
Karl Marx couldn't save us nor could any of his kind
The police and the economy, the thought of their atrophy constantly plague my mind
Infamy and poverty sung over a symphony to a crowd of starving eyes
I'd like to say it helps but we'll never be free from this tainted democracy
The punk band plays on but it's all only the soundtrack to our self destruction
Kids used to want to be the police, now they want to beat the pigs
In hopes that one day peace won't be a crime
And until that day I will never be free from this apathy
I feel nostalgic for the days before I was born
The warmth of the womb to shelter me from this bitter air
And I don't care, you're lying if you say that life doesn't make you scared
I stand before you an awful mess, terrified by my apathy and nihilistic company
And when I try to wake up, I'm kept asleep by my dreams of world synchrony
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4. |
4 AM
01:31
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It's 4AM, you're sleeping and I'm crying
It's 4AM, oh I'm just stuck in this state again
I'm just stuck in this state again
I'm just stuck in this state again
Just one little spike underneath my skin
There will be no more pain
I'll shoot this euphoria extract
Straight through my vein
It's 4AM, give me back my heart and leave my mind
It's 4AM, oh I just can't seem to leave you behind
I just can't seem to leave you behind
I just can't seem to leave you behind
Just one little spike underneath my skin
There will be no more pain
I'll shoot this euphoria extract
Straight through my vein
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5. |
Hanging From The Ceiling
03:03
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I've lost all self control and
I can feel myself just slipping away
So let my mom walk in to find me
Hanging from the ceiling
Everything just feels so hopeless
And I feel so broke and I feel so dopeless
So let me dad walk in to find me
Hanging from the ceiling
I refuse to eat, refuse to sleep
'Cause this country's full of brainwashed sheep
So let my mom walk in to find me
Hanging from the ceiling
You know heroin's overrated anyways
'Cause suicide's the best high these days
So please let it be said that I went out
With a bullet in my head
I don't know what it's like to be complete
When everything feels so goddamn broken
So let my mom walk in to find me
Hanging from the ceiling
I don't even have 6 friends my mom could ask
To come and carry my casket
So let my dad walk in to find me
Hanging from the ceiling
And I want to die, I want to cry
I just want to get fucking high
So let my mom walk in to find me
Hanging from the ceiling
You know heroin's overrated anyways
'Cause suicide's the best high these days
So please let it be said that I went out
With a bullet in my head
So let them all walk in to find me
Hanging from the ceiling
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6. |
Malt Liquor Solution
01:42
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Apocalyptic tragedy
Up my nasal cavity
And who needs friends
When you're the fucking Prince Cobra
Down another bottle and
Start to cry a little
Because malt liquor tastes
Better when you have problems
And I'm puking in the bathroom
Bitching about how lonely I am
But it's okay because
Hopefully I'll forget it the next day
And when I'm dead I know
You'll all remember what a
Worthless, pathetic loser I am
'Cause my life was spent in the back of a cruiser
And I'll just be another junkie
Buried with his guitar picks
'Cause I bitched too much
Every dope sick morning of
No one left to rob
And nothing else to steal
And I'm sobbing in the next room
Drinking myself to death
But it's okay because
Hopefully I'll forget it the next day
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7. |
Slash, Gash, Terror Crew
02:36
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Well the future is terrifying
And it always plagues my mind
Wondering where I'm gonna be in 10 years time
Will I be an alcoholic who gets buried
Or will I have kids and get married
Who knows what's gonna happen by next year
So I guess I'll have to play it all by ear
I'm a faggot, I'm a loser
I'm a hopeless drunken abuser
I'm drowned in self pity
And I treat my friends so shitty
Every time I close my eyes
I can't help but to despise
The person I am compared to
The people you are
You have friends and a future,
A girlfriend and a home and
All my life is, is a series of sutures
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry
I hope you'll forgive me
You're my slash, gash, terror crew
I'm so sorry for what I put you through
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8. |
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Yeah, I don't know how long I can go on like this
And I don't know if I really care
Well I try my best to make friends
But people just laugh and stare
And the words, they don't come out, I must be out of breath
I guess I can blame it on all the cigarettes
So I sing songs about who I am and who I want to be
Like art could save a wretch like me
And there's these parties, but they have people
And you're so pretty, but I'm so awkward
And I don't want to cry, I just want to die
Can't we just sit around and get high
Well life is pain, life is hurt
I try to find comfort in pretty words
And in every shitty song I've ever written
And in every toilet that I ever threw up in
Lately I've been walking around with my head down
There must be something fascinating on the ground
Or maybe I'm just afraid to look the world in the eye
Because I know I'm not going to like what I find
And there's these parties, but they have people
And you're so pretty, but I'm so awkward
Please just put a gun to my head
Fuck this shit, I'd rather be dead
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9. |
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I'd give up all of my acquisitions
Just to see your face again
This compilation of hello's and goodbye's
Is slowly tearing me to pieces
It's the rain cloud's sad lament
And the mistake that I don't regret
It's the eloquence in your eyes
And the truth behind your lies
You know I try to understand over being understood
But you'd always make me happy when nothing else could
I know you try to understand over being understood
But I'd always make you happy when nothing else could
It's not just another movie with another shitty ended
'Cause I'm not gonna wait for rain to kiss you
These past few weeks I've been a hopeless, drunken mess
With nothing to do but miss you
I'm trying hard not to look like I'm trying too hard
But now I'm just drunk as fuck
You know I can't walk, but I can sing
These songs are a requiem of when there was you
Now a cornucopia of opiates is flooding my head
Without you here I think I'd rather be dead
I'm praying to a god that I don't believe in
He's absent, he said "Kid, you're on your own."
He said "Kid, you're on your own."
You know I try to understand over being understood
But you'd always make me happy when nothing else could
I know you try to understand over being understood
But I'd always make you happy when nothing else could
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Social Ladder Columbus, Ohio
I'm a socially awkward kid who plays the guitar awfully from Columbus, Ohio.
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